My, oh my! Look at the extremely talented (but, by all appearances, semi-catatonic) amateur church musician earnestly and devotedly plunking away at a modest--and probably not perfectly in tune--piano in a little ol' Southern Baptist church in Texas. Honey Creek Baptist, they call it! Don't these two scenes simply drip with praise-filled, old-time, quaint, bizarro, love-the-Lord sincerity?
So much to savor--the fabulously gifted musician's bald pate, dorky suspenders, soporific demeanor, and board-meeting spectacles (feeling creeped out yet?). And just what is that War of the Worlds-looking contraption to his right? A piano lamp? Or an electronic nerd-guidance unit?
Actually, the pianist is none other than me, about 20 years ago (and minus my mustache), in the small church of my dear Navy buddy Lewis, who was the pastor. That's Lewis in the second photo. I accompanied his wife, Patty, on a gospel song from the church hymnal, and I truly regret that we didn't record the performance so that, all these years later, William Zimmerman could make fun of it at his blog, The Other Side of Music. What an opportunity missed.
I learned of William's blog when he emailed to say how much he (ahem) enjoys my Sunday morning gospel series. His note was as brief and dry as can be, but I could hear the Snarkometer in my head going crazy. A visit to his site (dedicated to " unique and unusual Christian and Gospel music") confirmed my instincts--I've rarely encountered a blog more religiously devoted to insult and mockery. Some sample reviews:
"Mr. Shufelt appears to be inspired by both the Lord and the Broadway stage. We'll take the piano player on tour and leave Strat on the stage by himself."
"This gospel album by the Lloyd Family is simultaneously jolly and creepy, like a carnival sideshow."
"Ouch! Praise and Worship music for only the truly and dearly devoted."
"The good-time sounds of the Calvary Crusaders may motivate you to adjust the pitch control on your turntable. This trio of singers never actually sings completely in tune, yet, we find them completely captivating nonetheless!"
That's the single, entire purpose of his blog--to carry on like this. Interesting that William doesn't i.d. himself anywhere on the home page (or maybe it's smart?), considering the sheer number of folks whose works he hauls out for derision.
Now, I know it's an Internet tradition to make fun of Christianity and amateur musicianship--and, especially, any combination thereof--but why is it so? Well, Christianity is the ultimate joke in pop culture nowadays, so that covers that. But why bash amateur performers like myself? I think it has something to do with the massive decline in make-you-own musicianship. We've come to see mass-marketed music as not only superior in every way to any other kind, but the only correct kind. After all, where does music come from? A piano? A tuba? The persons playing those instruments, even? Nah. It comes from an mp3 player, for which it's "produced" in correct places like Nashville. No need to ponder the matter in any greater depth.
Really, that's what "outsider" music is, when you take away the dumb label--amateur music making, which many weaned on manufactured sounds have come to hear as bizarre beyond description or excuse. (Keeping in mind that, to exceedingly provincial minds, there's much that seems bizarre.) Take the strangest or least adept examples and tout them as horrifying examples of what can happen when (gasp) amateurs step out of their hole and elect to follow the Euterpean muse sans the strict guidance of a puppeteer--er, producer. In short, when they try to make their own sounds.
Sometimes I wonder if the sorry, down-the-sewer state of modern pop music has something to do with the virtual death of the amateur performing tradition. "Amateur" having come to mean, these days, copying licks off the radio. Once upon a time, when great and rare talents were hanging from the Victor, Columbia, and Decca rafters, there was a very active community music culture. Coincidence?
Anyway, back to the real blogosphere, where hip is all there is. And I meant to mention that William is prepared to deal with any targets who might take offense at his viciousness. Savor his lovely "disclaimer":
"If you are the extremely talented individual responsible for any music recording on this site and you feel that your livelihood has been violated by its inclusion, don’t get worked up about it - just email us immediately! Tell us the reason behind your objection, give us enough information so we can be sure you are who you say you are, and we will remove your recording immediately without the need for further argument or legal fuss." Patronizing enough?
Hey, William--I find your entire project objectionable. Could you remove it? Thanks. (Well, worth a try.)
Lee
