Last snow patch; Lee reviews "Hidden Fortress"

This is the last remaining snow patch in our yard. It has survived rain, days of warm temperatures, and the loneliness that comes with seeing the rest of your community vanish into the air and ground. It is at peace now. Stubborn yet serene. Defiant yet resigned . This is a snow patch which exudes dignity--or would, at least, if it didn't look so hilarious with all that gravel stuck in it.

Wow. It just told me where I can go. Anyway, we salute this patch for outlasting the rest.

And I just saw the entire Hidden Fortress (1958), the Akira Kurosawa film that helped inspire Star Wars. Initially, I only saw the first hour--just up to where things start cooking--and I went away semi-impressed. After seeing it all, I've gone away incredibly impressed. A magnificent movie in every regard, except maybe for the slow start, a fabulous castle battle scene notwithstanding.

Once the story gets going, it does so with a vengeance, and there are individual scenes which pack more of a dramatic punch than nearly any other ten films combined. And, somehow, Kurosawa combines all of this detail, action, and drama into a single frame--everything is masterfully controlled and contained. "Single frame" is the best I can do, since I don't quite know how to describe it. Maybe film experts have a name for whatever I'm talking about. Or maybe, if I asked, they'd politely suggest I stick to old-record blogging.

Mainly, I was curious to see if Fortress was blatantly like Star Wars, and vice-versa. Nope. But the connections are nevertheless obvious. Some are abstract--Lucas' attempt to emulate Kurosawa's amazing brand of visual storytelling, which he halfway succeeded at. And the whole epic feel. The use of widescreen. The clockwork pacing. Less abstract--the spear battle that looks like light-saber footage waiting for the lab-added effects. The banter, gait, and perpetual cluelessness of the comic pair and the various shots of them stumbling around in wide-open, desert-style settings. The princess' mix of heart and royal bearing. The swagger of the hero (though, looks-wise, not much resemblance--and Mifune's Hidden Fortress general is the model of duty). Even the loud, martial music, though (apologies to Williams fans) it's worlds better than the Wars score.

The Wars movies got old a long time ago for me, but I remember how entertaining the original was, even if I couldn't stand the soundtrack (the constant radio play did not help). And the final product was intended to invoke a Hollywood-era movie serial, which means we can't expect a Kurosawa level of story complexity. I'm not referring, exactly, to amount of detail--in that regard, the Lucas films do measure up.

Very similar films, but different. With Kurosawa's considerably better, in this blogger's view.

Sunday morning gospel coming up.



Lee

Crossing the equator, Navy-style

Few people know I'm a Trusty Shellback. Fewer care. My Shellback status, combined with the current price of a McDonald's cup of coffee, will get me a McDonald's cup of coffee. Unless they're closed.

However, I'm really here to point out that, to my knowledge, naked orgies aren't taking place out at sea in the U.S. Navy. They weren't when I was there, anyway. (Naked orgies, per regs, are only allowed in port.) Some of the TV news talkers, however, are milking everything they can, insinuation-wise, out of former Rep. Massa's crossing-the-line photos. And here's the mundane truth--crossing the equator is nothing more than an elaborate, testosterone-based, fraternity-style hazing ritual, and probably less sadistic than many of those. It combines ancient sea lore with macho immaturity and standard rite-of-reversal details. You can go to Google Images, type in "crossing the line ceremony," and see actual images of such events. So far, what I see is less drastic than what (ahem) I had to go through (things always having been tougher Back in Our Day), though I haven't dug very far.

What happened to me (and my unfortunate fellow polliwog shipmates) entailed whacks in the tail with one-foot lengths of hose as we crawled and chanted "Hail, Davy Jones," and not the former Monkee. We were sprayed with seawater (just for something to do to us, I'm guessing), yelled at, threatened, insulted, made to crawl through garbage, and... other stuff I'll just not mention, though there was nothing sexual about any of it. Gross, yes. I'm wondering right now if the host of Dirty Jobs got his start as a polliwog.

The, um, gayest (sorry) aspect of the ritual had to be the parts about shaving our left leg (or was it the right?) and wearing our underpants (skivvies) outside our pants. And we had to surgical-tape our knees and hands to protect them from the rough deck surface. In fact, I guess I didn't tape my hands--the resulting callous took about a year to disappear completely.

The ceremony ended with a dunk in a huge wooden vat of water. "What are you now???" someone yells. (A moment before, you were a slimy, low-down "wog".) "A Shellback!" you answer. Congratulations. End of ritual. Everyone cleans up the deck, then there's a cook-out. After a long shower.

We had made the journey from "wog" to Shellback. We'd participated in a proud, ancient tradition. And been made to feel like complete idiots.

It would take the press all of five minutes to find out these things, but 1) the goal is to milk the story and 2) make it clear that those doing the reporting are quite removed, thank you, from those who crawl on decks, chant "Hail, Davy Jones," and get whacked in the can with fire hoses.

Just kidding. There's no class consciousness in the news media. Next I'll be claiming the Moon is littered with impact craters.

So... that's what crossing the line is all about. Along with the card pictured above, I had a cool certificate which got tossed out during a workspace clean-up. I was the only person who cared, oddly enough--I must have known, all those years back, that such artifacts would someday enjoy current-news relevance.

More music comin' up.

Faux Como, Part 1

Cheap-label cover versions of Perry Como hits are out there in abundance, just like the extended-play discs (with 2, 4, or 6 tracks) that contain them. So, what's difficult about assembling the things in a playlist? Several things, actually.

First, they tend not to show up in great shape. Second, the pressings are often less than the best. Third, they... um....

Okay, two things. But, together, they're both enough to make such an undertaking time-consuming and fraught with "I got into this hobby, why?" moments. Yet the results, somehow, are worth it. Because, not only are most of these cover versions a lot of fun, hearing them in cleaned-up sound can be downright surrealistic. In fact, if you want surrealistic, dig the stereo versions of Kewpie Doll and Moon Talk, as ripped from a Tiara label boxed set. True stereo, too. (Many other "stereo" tracks in that set are the worst kind of doctored monaural.)

There's also the uncanny extent to which Bob Mitchell sounds like Perry.

Most of all, I love the tunes and original performances, and these copy-cat versions provide a new way to experience them. The Como records were so very good to begin with, screwing them up would have taken more time and effort than labels like Promenade were willing to expend.

Oh, and Dancin' is by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller, who of course gave us songs like Hound Dog and Jailhouse Rock. Best of the bunch--the spot-on Catch a Falling Star cover; the delightful Hot Diggity, whose simpler production provides an interesting contrast to the original; and No Other Love, nicely sung by Loren Becker, if not quite on a Perry level.

To the Faux Como: Faux Como, Part 1

PLAYLIST

THE GIRL WITH THE GOLDEN BRAIDS-Jack Richards (Value Hit Parade Tunes)
CATCH A FALLING STAR--Bob Mitchell (Promenade)
MOON TALK--Unknown (Tiara)
KEWPIE DOLL--Same
ROUND AND ROUND--Same
CATCH A FALLING STAR--Artie Malvin (Waldorf)
WANTED--Earl Sheldon and His Hits a Poppin' Orch. (Parade)
KO KO MO--Royale Dance Orch. and Singers (Royale)
DANCIN'--Jack Richards (Value Hit Parade Tunes)
DON'T LET THE STARS GET IN YOUR EYES--Loren Becker w. Enoch Light (Waldorf)
CHEE CHEE-OO CHEE--Laura Leslie and Gabe Drake (Prom)
HOT DIGGITY--Bud Roman and the Toppers (Tops)
JUST BORN--Michael Reed (Promenade)
NO OTHER LOVE--Loren Becker w. Enoch Light (Waldorf)


Lee

"The Hidden Fortress" (TCM, tonight, 12:30 a.m.)--the source for the Force

For George Lucas' Star Wars, that is. How much of a source, I can't say--I haven't seen it. But I plan to tune it in tonight (which, technically, is tomorrow morning, but I'm going by TCM's calendar). Both George Lucas and the media at large have been good about acknowledging Akira Kurosawa's 1958 Hidden Fortress as the inspiration for George's zip-zap-zowie-athon, but I can't help sensing a certain reluctance in the admission. For instance, in its write-up for Fortress, TCM warns that "to define The Hidden Fortress by its connection to a legendary Hollywood blockbuster is to simplify its complex use of various storytelling conventions and its important place in Kurosawa’s career; it also reduces its stature."

Ah, I see. They're not concerned about any possible effect on the Wars franchise--no, they simply don't want the reputation of Fortress to suffer and, by implication, its maker's, too.

A couple of problems, though: 1) Viewers at home have zilch to say about the long-term critical reputation of a movie, regardless of the context in which they view it, and 2) if Kurosawa rates a 100th-Birthday bash at TCM, hasn't it already been decided in the film community that he's a pretty important guy? God help his critical standing if can be jinxed by too much association of Fortress with Star Wars.

Before my suspicions can blossom into conclusions, I'll need to see just how much Lucas was inspired by Kurosawa. I suspect a lot. If you're curious, too, sit up for (or record) The Hidden Fortress tonight at 12:30 on TCM. Here's hoping I don't forget, as I often do with TCM flicks.


Lee

Happy Birthday, Betty Nickell!!

It's Betty's Day, and (fittingly) a Sunday, too. Fellow believer and (not fellow) Rockabilly Hall of Fame great Betty Nickell has two CDs for sale at CDBaby, and you know you want them: Betty Nickell at CDBaby.

I've heard both and recommend them without an ounce of reservation. Seriously--great, great stuff from a great, great lady.

MY(P)WHAE wishes Betty the best possible Birthday!


Lee

Huff-Po to cover "religion."

Or should I put the quotes around "cover"? Anyway, Huffington Post has announced a new section called "HuffPost Religion." Sure enough, the section--described by Arianna Huffington as "home to an open and fearless dialogue about all the ways religion affects both our personal and our public lives"--is up and running. And who is better qualified to sponsor such a "fearless dialogue"? This is, after all, the site that (four years back) published the Sam Harris essay "Science Must Destroy Religion." I can't think of any move half as logical, except maybe starting a feminist blog at a biker website.

(This essay continues at MY(P)WHAE Text: Uhh... yeah.)