Veterans Day, 2009

Your blogger, around 1984, and an Electronic Warfare Operator 3rd Class aboard the USS Merrill (DD-976). The Merrill, sunk as a target in 2003, was the testing platform for the Tomahawk Cruise Missile. It's where I served the final ten months of my eight-year Navy stint--most of that time, we were in dry dock.

And here's the weird thing. I don't believe in ESP, but... an eerie thing happened just prior to receiving my orders for the Merrill (which I'd pressed to get, since I wanted a culture-shock recovery period between my Japan service and the start of my civilian life). What happened was, I made up a comedy bit that my friend Lewis and I recorded on cassette as I wrote it--it was a fake ad for an outfit called the Merrill-Docks Institute. It was filled with "branding" slogans and similar cliches, the joke being that the nature of the business was never once touched on.

Merrill-Docks. Then came my orders for the Merrill, which was in dry dock. (Theremin: oo-weeee-ooo) I'd never heard of it prior to then. I swear.

So, another Vets Day, and what can I say? On this day, we pretend to love and value our vets. We don't, but we pretend. It's all about us, you know. It' s a doing-the-right-thing-and-feeling-all-warm-and-fuzzy ritual of little (or, these days, zero) meaning.

Memories of my immediate post-Navy life include co-workers resentful that vets might actually enjoy some post-service advantages (Heaven forbid!)--resentment that companies make a point of capitulating to. Occasionally, at my Medicare job, I'd comment ironically on the considerable gap between the perceived workplace perks for being a vet versus the actual (read: nonexistent) ones. In the wage-slave universe, the main concern is, and will likely always be, the worry that someone else is getting something. This cannot be tolerated--not even if it's an accommodation for a disability. Face it--that's the way people are in the workplace.

In fact, lest I forget to relate one of the prime Bob-and-Ray moments in my Medicare career, I didn't even enjoy veteran status at my job! Seriously. It was made known to me that, because I hadn't served in war, I was not a vet. News to me. I went back and forth with Human Resources over this, pointing out (among other things) that I qualified for a V.A. loan, and how the hell could I do so if I wasn't a vet. And so on. No go. I wasn't a vet.

Talk about overkill. First, zero perks for being a vet. Then you discover you aren't one!

Actually, the most memorable thank-you for my service came in college, when I discovered that I was ineligible for student financial aid my first year based on the logic that I had "voluntarily" left the Navy--this meant, I guess, that I was considered still employed with the government. Someone living at home with his or her parents, by contrast, qualified for the aid that I was barred from. I remember explaining to various people that "voluntarily" leaving the service is more commonly referred to as AWOL. But no one cared. What a lovely welcome-home.

I should complain. At least I'm still alive as a civilian. See Over 2,280 vets died in 2008 because of lack of health-care insurance.

Well, you know--we honor our vets, but their health care? Separate topic, I guess.

I can't wait to hear President Robot's Vets Day speech. Something like, "We honor our men and women in uniform, and we vow to keep them trapped in two useless wars, because, to put it frankly, most of these folks aren't upper middle class and above, and are therefore--let's face it--disposable. Besides, getting them the hell out of there would entail doing something, and that's not my speed. Besides, I'm getting credit hand over fist for being different than Bush without my having to be that terribly different from Bush, and why mess with a good thing? Anyway, my main goal right now is to sell out health care reform in the hopes of Republican support that we all knew, ten months ago, wasn't going to happen. God Bless America (hand wave, followed by obsessive and pointless analysis by MSNBC)."

God bless our troops, because no one else is going to. Happy Vets Day. And let's get our troops the bloody hell out of there.

Lee

Ain't Got a Hit--Merv Griffin (1953-ish)

Actually, this recording is "blue" only so far as some mild cussing--the s-word and g.d.--which, as far as I know, we hear on prime-time TV these days. This is Merv Griffin, for sure, and my best guess is 1953, Columbia, and Percy Faith and His Orchestra. I suspect these lyrics have been attached to another melody--if anyone recognizes the tune, please let me know. I wouldn't be surprised if the Mervster himself penned the text.

Update: Ranger has I.D.'d the tune as Wish You Were Here, the 1952 hit for Eddie Fisher. Which it definitely is (hear YouTube track). Thanks, Ranger! My next step, of course, is to find out who did Wish for Columbia, and to compare the arrangement.

What we have is Merv, atop a lush orchestral arrangement, complaining about the no-hit state of the music biz, or at least his portion thereof. (Which was exactly his situation upon moving to the Columbia label, following a successful three or four years at RCA). Some will want to interpret this as Merv's response to rock 'n' roll, but this track clearly predates Elvis' chart invasion, and the style is very pre-1956 Merv.

Merv's performance is masterfully deadpan--he treats it like any other lush pop ballad of the time, with just enough sarcastic emphasis on "sh-t," "god-d-man," and so on, to (ironically) score a hit each time. Flat-out brilliant.

The lyrics refer to publishing companies, mostly, with the "fourteen guitars on triple track" line likely referring to multi-track master Les Paul. If my record collection wasn't complete before, it is now. You're hearing a very restored file--the disc is worn to bottom of the groove, but (possibly) nothing can stop me and MAGIX.

Click here to hear: Ain't Got a Hit--Merv Griffin



Lee

Piece on Nidal Malik Hasan

I just read a charming piece about Nidal Malik Hasan, the Fort Hood shooter. Your job is to guess where I found it. To help you out, here are some quotes:

"One wonders how and why the army failed to relieve him from active duty. One ridiculous explanation is that they had a lot invested him--his complete medical and psychiatric training. Much more likely, the army was hamstrung by the political correctness that's been imposed upon it."

"As for being a victim of prejudice, Hasan was instead a provocateur whom the army tried to ignore. Hasan is not only a terrorist, he's a traitor--a man who turned on his nation; on the army that nurtured, educated and paid him; and on his comrades in arms"

"Before Hasan became a murderer, he was a toxic agent stifling the morale of his patients by empathizing with their enemies rather than with them. The army needs to investigate the evil impact that this man must have had on the hundreds of soldiers he discouraged and drugged."

I found this essay at (choose one):

1.) rushlimbaugh.com
2.) foxnews.com
3.) michellemalkin.com
4.) drudgereport.com
5.) campaignforliberty.com
6.) huffingtonpost.com

Huffingtonpost.com, you say? Why, yes. That is correct. Didn't stump you for a second, did I?

Now, if that's the progressive take on Hasan, I think I can live without hearing the conservative version....

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-peter-breggin/the-fort-hood-shooter-a-d_b_349651.html&cp

Sunday morning gospel: The Singing Millers--In the Spirit

Late last month, I featured five tracks from this LP--today, the whole album. First-rate Seventies gospel, though I can't give you an exact year. 1973-ish?

"Lively, spiritual, great talent and true gospel"--this is how Eva Mae Le Fevre describes the Singing Millers in her liner notes for the LP. While that sentence doesn't quite work, series-wise, I'll go along with each part.

Click here to hear: The Singing Millers--In the Spirit

PLAYLIST

I FOUND CALVARY (Winston Miller)
LOVE LIFTED ME (Rowe-Smith)
PREACH THE WORD (Aimee Semple McPherson)--Instrumental
HIS GREAT ARMS (Winston Miller)
OVER IN THE GLORY LAND (James W. Acuff-Emmett S. Dean)
WHAT A PRICE HE PAID (Winston Miller)
OH HAPPY DAY (Arr: Hawkins)
GOD'S NOT DEAD (Cummings)--Instrumental
SOUL MUSIC (Winston Miller)
THE BLIND MAN (Danny Smart)
WHAT A DAY, GLORIOUS DAY (Winston Miller)


Lee

Will I ever learn? Never, ever upgrade

So, AVG anti-virus asked if I wanted to upgrade to version 9--for free, no less. And, for some reason, I went ahead and did so.

First sign that I had done a dumb thing: the "up"grade was being slowed down by Spyware Doctor (which I'd paid for 2 months' worth) to the point that the Internet didn't work, though don't ask me how one caused the other. So I had to get rid of Spyware Doctor. I did, and everything was fine. Almost. Except for occasional slowdowns. Then, tonight, my Outlook Express stopped "responding." My email program stopped working!!!!!!!!!!!

I tried to use it, you see. AVG got confused.

So, I'm one tiny step away from uninstalling the darn thing (AVG, not my email program). I have a year left on the subscription, but if it's going to cripple the operation of my computer, it's goodbye. Checking out various message boards that discuss AVG issues (including one with a comically bureaucratic and controlling monitor), I see that AVG's customer service is the usual conversation with a wall.

I'd just gotten used to a great product from AVG. So, naturally, they go the way of McAfee. Darn. Double-darn. Darn X 10.

Dang it, even.