Your blogger, around 1984, and an Electronic Warfare Operator 3rd Class aboard the USS Merrill (DD-976). The Merrill, sunk as a target in 2003, was the testing platform for the Tomahawk Cruise Missile. It's where I served the final ten months of my eight-year Navy stint--most of that time, we were in dry dock.
And here's the weird thing. I don't believe in ESP, but... an eerie thing happened just prior to receiving my orders for the Merrill (which I'd pressed to get, since I wanted a culture-shock recovery period between my Japan service and the start of my civilian life). What happened was, I made up a comedy bit that my friend Lewis and I recorded on cassette as I wrote it--it was a fake ad for an outfit called the Merrill-Docks Institute. It was filled with "branding" slogans and similar cliches, the joke being that the nature of the business was never once touched on.
Merrill-Docks. Then came my orders for the Merrill, which was in dry dock. (Theremin: oo-weeee-ooo) I'd never heard of it prior to then. I swear.
So, another Vets Day, and what can I say? On this day, we pretend to love and value our vets. We don't, but we pretend. It's all about us, you know. It' s a doing-the-right-thing-and-feeling-all-warm-and-fuzzy ritual of little (or, these days, zero) meaning.
Memories of my immediate post-Navy life include co-workers resentful that vets might actually enjoy some post-service advantages (Heaven forbid!)--resentment that companies make a point of capitulating to. Occasionally, at my Medicare job, I'd comment ironically on the considerable gap between the perceived workplace perks for being a vet versus the actual (read: nonexistent) ones. In the wage-slave universe, the main concern is, and will likely always be, the worry that someone else is getting something. This cannot be tolerated--not even if it's an accommodation for a disability. Face it--that's the way people are in the workplace.
In fact, lest I forget to relate one of the prime Bob-and-Ray moments in my Medicare career, I didn't even enjoy veteran status at my job! Seriously. It was made known to me that, because I hadn't served in war, I was not a vet. News to me. I went back and forth with Human Resources over this, pointing out (among other things) that I qualified for a V.A. loan, and how the hell could I do so if I wasn't a vet. And so on. No go. I wasn't a vet.
Talk about overkill. First, zero perks for being a vet. Then you discover you aren't one!
Actually, the most memorable thank-you for my service came in college, when I discovered that I was ineligible for student financial aid my first year based on the logic that I had "voluntarily" left the Navy--this meant, I guess, that I was considered still employed with the government. Someone living at home with his or her parents, by contrast, qualified for the aid that I was barred from. I remember explaining to various people that "voluntarily" leaving the service is more commonly referred to as AWOL. But no one cared. What a lovely welcome-home.
I should complain. At least I'm still alive as a civilian. See Over 2,280 vets died in 2008 because of lack of health-care insurance.
Well, you know--we honor our vets, but their health care? Separate topic, I guess.
I can't wait to hear President Robot's Vets Day speech. Something like, "We honor our men and women in uniform, and we vow to keep them trapped in two useless wars, because, to put it frankly, most of these folks aren't upper middle class and above, and are therefore--let's face it--disposable. Besides, getting them the hell out of there would entail doing something, and that's not my speed. Besides, I'm getting credit hand over fist for being different than Bush without my having to be that terribly different from Bush, and why mess with a good thing? Anyway, my main goal right now is to sell out health care reform in the hopes of Republican support that we all knew, ten months ago, wasn't going to happen. God Bless America (hand wave, followed by obsessive and pointless analysis by MSNBC)."
God bless our troops, because no one else is going to. Happy Vets Day. And let's get our troops the bloody hell out of there.
Lee
