Dec. 25 in Pac-Ville: Pac-Man Christmas Album (1982)

 

An old-fashioned Pacville (Pac-Ville?) Christmas story for kids, featuring Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, and Pac-Baby, plus ghosts Inky, Blinky, Pinky, and Clyde.  There was a two-season Hanna-Barbera Pac-Man TV cartoon that ran for 44 episodes, starting in 1982, but the voices on this LP seem to be completely different (Kid Stuff, the label, likely couldn't afford big-name voice actors).  My first time through this, I was editing out the pops that had escaped VinylStudio, and, between the pauses and my total unfamiliarity with the Pac-Man game or its characters (save for Pac-Man), I was totally lost.  The record seemed nonlinear to a surreal degree.

Once I'd patched things up and was able to listen in a single, unbroken run, the story of course made far more sense (plus, I'd read up on the game and could identify the characters), though the songs were still pretty lousy.  Of course, the songs were written for kids, and I'm not a kid (not the last time I checked), so my take is irrelevant--if these songs worked for kids of the early 1980s, that's all that matters--not my cranky senior assessment.  But I can't help wishing they'd opted instead for traditional carols and songs, only with the lyrics "Pac"-modified.  Such as, um... O Little Town of Pac-Ville, maybe--or... Hm.  Maybe this is harder than I thought.  We Four Ghosts (Of Pac-ville Are)?  No, that won't work.  I Saw Three Ghosts?  Nope.  "I'm out of coins, I'm out of coins, I'm out of coins, I'm out of coins.  Can you break a one? Can you break a one, etc.?" (Carol of the Pac-Bells)  "Still, still, still--Still stuck in this arcade.  Until the start of day; I just can't pull away." (Still, Still, Still ((Stuck in the Arcade))).  Or maybe O Come All Ye Pac-Ful?  No, that doesn't even make sense.  I guess I'll have to Pac this in.  (Ha-yuk, yuk!)

But "Pac"-altered lyrics to old favorites would have been fun, I think.  My ears find the character voices hard to handle--but, again, I'm an adult, not a kid.  Now, I've always regarded Pac-Man as a game for young adults, since I remember (back in the day) fellow sailors playing it at every opportunity.  I'm terrible at video games, so I pretty much had to stay away from Pac-Man and similar challenges, unless I simply wanted to lose a fortune in quarters (hence, my lack of familiarity with the Pac-universe.)  So, it took me until my second listen to realize, "Hey, this is for kids!  No wonder it sounds so nonlinear and bizarre."  I had never associated the game with children, especially, though I can now see that it has a lot of child appeal--especially when the icons are fashioned into cartoon characters.  The jacket art seems to take off from the TV cartoon, though there's no mention of Hanna-Barbera on the cover or label.

Despite the Disco-y music that gives the record a modern thump-thump-thump-thump sound, we know we're still in the pre-"edgy" era, cartoon-wise.  We know this, because the moral/lesson of the piece is rendered in a straightforward way, without a shred of "irony" (which, in modern usage, means sarcasm).  The lesson is clear: The spirt of Christmas is togetherness--a time when even enemies who have chased you around a CRT all year feel the call to make peace and share Pac-cookies.  At least, I think the record mentions Pac-cookies.  I can picture myself, in my days as a kid, finding comfort in the child-like character voices provided by... whoever.  No voice credits, but we know none of the actual characters played themselves.  (Or can we be sure?)

Oh, and Deck the Halls is the common wrong title for Deck the Hall.  And I guess "Pac-Mas," while cute, might have been a little too risky at the time, but I'd have loved a We Wish You a Merry Pac-Mas.

(My Lord--I just listened to the Pac-Man start-up music on YouTube, and it was instant time travel!  Oh, those period, barely modulated sine tones.)

DOWNLOAD: Pac-Man Christmas Album (Kid Stuff KSS-5029; 1982)

The Magic of Christmas
Snowflakes and Frozen Lakes
Under the Tree
Deck the Halls
An Old Fashioned Christmas
Somedays Are More Important
Friends Again
We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Pac-Man Christmas Album (Kid Stuff KSS-5029; 1982).  Written and Produced by Patrick McBride and Dana Waldon.

Lee