Have a Merry Christmas!--or, when is stereophonic not stereophonic?

I'm tempted to call this the most dreadful fake stereo I've ever heard, but since I was able to save the sound by eliminating one of the tracks, I can't honestly call it the worst.  Fake stereo, of course, is when monaural tracks are "reprocessed," typically with one side containing low frequencies and muffled highs, and the other containing nothing but tinny sound.  Our ears are supposed to hear this as stereo, but usually it simply sounds like a single channel pushed off to the side.  There is a false sense of depth, but it doesn't compare in any way, shape, or form to genuine stereo.  RCA and Columbia fake stereo is probably the worst, because it's drenched in echo, making audio rescue impossible.  It is to the credit of Palace, even if it's one of the junkier junk labels, that its fake stereo can be overcome.  At least in this case.

You will hear the rescued sound, which is pretty decent, though the pressing is noisy.  Side 1 is a continuous medley with no track breaks, so I had to make some.  The jacket and label list six selections, but two (Joy to the World, We Three Kings...) are repeated, so my file is broken into eight sections for Side 1.  Clearly, Palace's sound editor was filling out the side by repeating the two numbers.  I'm sure you've always wanted to own organ and violin renditions of these familiar tunes, so rejoice!  Wish no longer.

Side two promises the Malvin Carolers, with Sy Mann at the Wurlitzer.  And, in typical junk-label fashion, only half of the six tracks feature the Malvin Carolers--the other three are organ and chimes, with no singing.  Now the vital question is--is "Malvin" the famous Artie/Arthur Malvin?  Malvin did head some singing groups--most famously for Jimmy Dorsey and Jackie Gleason--so probability favors Artie being the "Malvin" on side two.  Oh, and of course Artie did any number of fake hits for Bell Records and the Waldorf labels, including the 18 Top Hits series.  And he sang for Glenn Miller during WWII.  The appearance of significant musicians on trash labels is part of what makes trash labels fun.  In my view, anyway.




DOWNLOAD: Have a Merry Christmas!




ORGAN AND VIOLIN

Oh, Holy Night
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Joy to the World
Good King Wenceslas
Hark, the Herald Angels Sing
Joy to the World
We Three Kings of Orient Are
Jingle Bells

MALVIN CAROLERS, WITH SY MANN AT THE WURLITZER

Silent Night
Adeste Fideles
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
O Little Town of Bethlehem
Deck the Hall


Have a Merry Christmas!  (Palace STXM 908)


Lee